So What’s A Girl To Do?

I love sex. Really I do!! I love to talk about sex, I love to educate people about healthy sex and of course I love to engage in healthy sex. The best part though is the look on peoples face when I tell them I am HIV poz and that sex is awesome in my world today. Ooohh the blushing I witness on a daily basis!!

The majority of people have a mindset that if your HIV poz, 1) No one will want you, 2 Poz’s can’t EVER have sex so they don’t transmit HIV to anyone, possibly go to jail or prison, and 3) You’re gonna die so what’s the use?   FOR REAL!!! I have actually had that one said to me. Well, I’m here to tell you that sex is “doable” Ha ha get it, doable?

Sex is the major route of transmission for HIV. However when I was diagnosed I wanted, no… I NEEDED to blame someone. Once I grew up a bit (emotionally, spiritually and mentally), after being Poz for 13 years, at 42 years old, I realized that I was ultimately responsible for my Poz status. Then, I forgave myself. Once I grew up a little I came to be ok with me; I decided that I do like sex and that I want to have more of it!!!

So what’s a girl to do?!?!  I mean really!?!?! Dating sites are great, but when do you disclose? In your profile? First date? After he’s in love with me and will not want to leave me?  Well, I will tell you that I have done both and it ended well both times. One walked away…the “after he falls in love” one. Then the “first date” one, he stayed and got educated about HIV. He started taking PReP, along with condoms, and it was on for us. That relationship ended after 13 months. But before it ended…I learned a lot about me and my orgasms. That’s right I said it loud and proud “ORGASMS ARE FUN”.

Although I am currently single, I am hopeful for a life partner with the same mindset and sexual drive as me. It was a long road to get here and I am thankful for every part of it. Today I am an HIV + 49 year old sexually active happily orgasmic woman.


2 thoughts on “So What’s A Girl To Do?

  1. Great post “sex loving sister”. Lol. I too have always loved sex but after my diagnosis I backed away from ever having sex again. Well “we” do know how to handle things ourselves. I mean a sexual act does not have to involve another person. Lol. I mean love “yourself”. Men aren’t the only ones than can self satisfy. Lol. Many may blush but it’s the truth. I encourage women to get having organisms but the safe way. Protect yourself and your partner. I’m married but I would suggest when revealing your status maybe you need a “Status Reveal Contract”. Ask the other person to sign an agreement saying “he/she” was told or made away of your HIV status before sexual relations. Because once a relationship falls apart the other person (the negative side) can and will accuse you of horrible things. True or not. So I say protect yourself with a contract agreement and those condoms. Protect the other person with condoms and PreP. Then have as much sex as you want or need. Life has to have some enjoyment and sex is free. Lol.

  2. Thank you for your feed back.What a great suggestion!! There is a form on that is perfect for sexually active HIV positive person in sero discordant relationship. I remember one of my first thoughts when given my positive results in 1995 was” No one will ever love me like this”. Im glad to know I am not alone in this adventure….that there are others living HIV + and still get horny once in a while. LOL
    Stigma plays a huge role in the way people perceive ones sex life after HIV + diagnosis. Keep up the great attitude and hope to see MORE comments or even possibly your own blog on her. peace and love be with you.

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