Yearly Archives: 2023

The Secrets We Keep: Living with HIV

Advocacy, Emotional Health, Stigma, Support, Taking a Stand, ,

Living with HIV creates a lot of doubt in our heads and conversations. Did I get a funny look from a stranger, a clerk, a friend, or a family member? Did I imagine that they moved away from my touch or refused a sip of my drink? When seeing a medical person for an illness or a routine check-up, did they shy away from touching me or avoid providing a procedure I may have needed?

How can we change these thoughts when we can’t change the public perception surrounding HIV? Education may be the answer but we can’t force people to listen or to believe the science behind HIV. We have to keep advocating for ourselves, even within the medical community. We have to speak up more in sharing our concerns.

– Crazy Grandma

Being a Supportive Caregiver

Action Tips, Emotional Health, Support, , ,

As a caregiver to my mother who is living with HIV, I have found that being an emotional support is a crucial aspect of helping maintain her health. Sometimes, it may not seem like much to be that shoulder to lean on but remember, stress can be a huge factor in the state of one’s health. Showing support to the person you are caring for can help relieve those feelings of being overwhelmed and stressed. In the long run, this can help improve their health.

For me, I have found three things to be very important when I think about the type of support I provide my mom.

• First, being non-judgmental is key. People living with HIV are living every day with stigma and judgment from our society. Be a safe haven for the person you are caring for. Provide a judgment-free zone, where they can freely open up to you.

• Second, assist them in reducing stress through interaction with others, through their faith, or through exercise. Staying upbeat is important. Stress is the number one factor that causes health to go down because that’s when a person wants to give up.

• Third, you have to take a moment to reflect on yourself and your role as a caregiver. It’s very important to self-care. The role of a caregiver is to be a support to someone you love, but if you are giving all of yourself, this can cause you to burnout.

You don’t have to be someone’s only source of support. Part of supporting your friend or family member is providing them with resources they can use to seek support from others. This is important for the person you care for, as they can gain even more strength from others. This is also important for you as a caregiver. Helping the person you love build a network of support will help you to not get overwhelmed as well.

– Nanny

Surviving with Hope

Emotional Health, Inspiring Stories, Support, , ,

When I first found out about my situation, I was pregnant and I was on my way to work. I can tell you what I had on and everything. My doctor called and asked if I could come into the Health Department. I was already five months pregnant and I was like, “Do you really need me to come in, you can’t tell me over the phone?”

When I arrived, he brought me into his office and he had a nurse sitting next to me. She was holding my hand and she kept on saying, “I’m so sorry.” I asked what was going on. And then the doctor said, “You’ve tested positive for HIV.” At first, it was like he was talking in slow motion. I thought, “I am about to die.” That’s the first thing that came to my mind.

I stopped taking my HIV meds after I gave birth to my daughter and my son. In my eyes, I was 200 pounds. In reality, I was about 90-something pounds. So basically, I was so skinny that my doctor was getting nervous. He said I only had five years to live. “The top is five years, but the way you are going,” he said, “it is going to be less than that.” However, I didn’t think there was anything wrong with me. So, I guess, God had to give me a little reality check that something was wrong.

My first streak was shingles and I had to go through the pain. The second streak was a little sore on my forehead. I had to deal with that and sores in other places, but I still was in denial. My doctor finally said, “Enough is enough,” because I went from a size 14 to a size 4. That’s how bad I was. My doctor said, “I’m telling you this because I care and you are a sweet person.” He said if I do what I’m supposed to do, I would live as long as I want. He told me to look at my kids, that they need their Mama. He said, “Don’t you think they want you to see them graduate and go to prom? That’s what you’re supposed to be living for.”

When he said that, I started to break down crying because I couldn’t believe it was me. I’m not here to hurt anybody, why would somebody want to hurt me. My doctor said. “That’s why God doesn’t give you more than what you can bear. Now, what I want you to do is eat as much fast food as you can, take your meds, and drink Ensure.” And, by the grace of God, I’m here today.

I first recognized that my testimony was part of my purpose when my pastor, came to my house and asked if I would join him to visit a woman in the hospital. I will never forget it.

When we entered the hospital room, I was introduced to a woman with the same first name as me. She was also in the same state of denial that I had been in. She was in a wheelchair but also really skinny, so when I walked in, she looked at me and I looked at her and she was like, “You are a very pretty woman.” I said, “Well thank you. I am very glad to hear that.” Then she asked me why I was there. I said, “My pastor asked me to come to see you as we have a similar situation.” And she said she didn’t think I had the same thing as her. I asked her to tell me what she had that she didn’t think I had. She said she just found out that she was HIV positive. I asked her why she thought I didn’t have it. She was like, “No, not you, you’re too pretty for this.” So, I shared my testimony. I told her that it was not going to stop her from finding the person that she loves. I said, “As a matter of fact, I see this as not being a curse, but as a strength. God allowed you to go through this because he knew that you could handle it.” And then she looked at me and I said that “He’s going to send the right person to your life who’s going to understand your situation.” She started crying, I prayed and I sang with her.

Months later she messaged me on Facebook. She said, “Guess what? Thank you so much. I am married!” She looked stronger and pretty. The doctors had given her three weeks to live, just like they had given me five years. That’s how bad she was. But, I believe when I walked through the doors it gave her hope.

Finding the Courage to Survive

Action Tips, Advocacy, Emotional Health, Inspiring Stories, Lessons Learned, Taking a Stand, ,

When it comes to people who are living with HIV and AIDS, stigma in the church didn’t just start in 2020. It’s been around for quite some time.

Several years ago, I was invited to speak at a church. When I arrived, no one knew I was the speaker, so I just sat in the pews next to two ladies who were talking about people living with HIV, talking in such a negative manner that it got under my skin a little bit. Somehow, I managed to hold my composure.

When it was time for me to speak, I focused on those two ladies as I talked about how I was abducted, got shot, and left for dead on the side of the road. I looked directly at those two ladies when I said that’s where I contracted the virus and because of that, I am living with HIV. I could see their jaws drop, the shock when they realized they had been sitting right beside a person living with HIV. At the end of the event, the two ladies came up and apologized for how they had spoken about us. But, even though they apologized, I had already heard the way they really felt about people living with HIV/AIDS. It’s sad to say that in churches, where everybody is supposed to be about love and God, God may not discriminate, but men and women do.

Another time, I was a visitor at a church where everyone already knew I was living with HIV. At the end of the service, when everybody gathered together to hold hands for the last prayer, I reached out my hands but no one would take them. That was a very, very bad feeling. I was shunned by people who are supposed to be serving God, supposed to love their neighbor as themselves.

There are other times that I’ve overheard people in churches talking about people who are living with the virus. I’ve heard from some of my peers how they have been treated in churches, how they have been made to feel “some kind of way” after they have told their stories. To me, claiming you are God’s children should mean loving one another and caring about your sisters and brothers no matter what, whether it be HIV/AIDS or any other type of illness.

I feel that if I walk up to someone and say, “I’m living with cancer, “I get all the support in the world. If I walk up and say, “I’m a diabetic,” I get all the support in the world. If I walk up and say, “I’ve got HIV or AIDS,” then the stigma shows on their face. A word doesn’t have to be spoken. It’s just the instant reaction that you see from a person when they know or find out you’re living with HIV or AIDS. It changes 100% the way a person reacts with you. You would think, that in 2021, people would be educated when it comes to HIV and AIDS, but they’re not.

However, I would tell the person that is living with HIV that you have to find the courage within yourself. It’s a type of bondage that holds you when you have something bottled up inside that you need to set free. Your pastor is the one you should be able to confide in to help ease that bondage. The pastor will have whatever message God has given them to give to you. So, I would tell someone living with HIV to feel free to talk to their pastor and let them know because that’s where you get your support. You need that spiritual support. But the pastor can’t help you if you’re not sharing it.

When I got the courage to step up and say that I am the face of HIV, I felt that I had to tell people, to help build up the confidence of others who are living with it. To let others know that it’s ok to walk in those shoes – they are your shoes and you shouldn’t let anybody bring you down. The virus doesn’t dictate your life. For me, it was taking my power back. Once you take ownership of it and stop allowing it to control you, you can live. You can live a productive and happy life.

Many of us are still living in the closet. The stigma shouldn’t exist at all. It should be like, “I contracted the virus. It’s not your business how, but, yeah, I’m living with it because that’s what it is. It doesn’t make us the men or women that we are. It doesn’t proclaim our spirituality. We are still the loving beings God created. We should be able to walk around with our heads up high, with a smile on our face, and say, ‘This is me!”

-Marvene

A Mother’s Love: Living with HIV and Caregiving

Inspiring Stories, Lessons Learned, Support,

My daughter had graduated from high school and was preparing to become a nurse, when she suffered a stroke from complications of sickle cell anemia.

When my daughter first came home from the hospital, it was very rough on me because I didn’t get the proper rest that I needed. In the beginning, I did not have any help and I realized that to make it easy for me, I had to have a plan.

I managed my time by having a calendar and writing down things I had to do throughout the day. For example, having a schedule for what time I had to do things for myself and her, including both of us taking our meds. I started my day at 6:30am. I would get up, take my shower, and get myself ready. By 8:00am, I needed to have these things done because, from that time on, my focus was on my daughter. She needed to have her breakfast, medication, and bath, and then I had to make sure her room was clean and that lunch was prepared. I had to be up throughout the night and all day—and just be on top of life itself. I thank the Lord that my daughter had Medicaid so that I was finally able to get home healthcare for her, which gave me a little relief. They helped out with bathing her and things like that.

What advice would you give to caregivers?

Know the individual. With her being my daughter, I knew what her likes and dislikes were, I knew what would trigger her. I’ve been there through the ups and downs with her, trying to take care of myself as well.

You know, living with the virus that I’m living with, I don’t advise anybody to do what I did. I would be on my meds, then off my meds, and not eating properly. I thought that it was all about her. I felt like I had lived my life and I wanted her to have the best life that she could have, dealing with the stroke that she had. So yes, I don’t advise anybody to do what I did.

I was focused. I did everything that I had to do, but when I would take my meds, it would make me so sick that I was not able to take care of my daughter. I felt like, “Hey, I do not need these meds. I need to be focusing on her.” So, that is the reason why I got off my medication. I just thank God that my HIV health status had not become worse, reducing the number of my T-cells and reducing my immune system, creating an AIDS diagnosis.

It has been over two years since my daughter passed away, and I am thankful that I am in good health. My advice to caregivers is to take their meds, make sure to get the proper rest, eat right and stay up on their doctor’s appointments. If they need to go and talk to someone about their mental health, go and do it. There is nothing wrong with you getting that assistance. But, with me at that time, I felt like I didn’t need to get mental health counseling. I felt like, “I can do this, I don’t need their service.” But, as the years went by, I started saying, “Hey gal, you really need to reach out to somebody else, you need this help.”

Another suggestion would be to join a support group that allows you to talk to other people that have been down the same road. They can give you good pointers and you can share your experiences. It’s also good to have a support system. My support system was not my family. I had to go outside of the box. I had to go to my sisterhood, support, and advocacy group of women living with HIV. And once I went to them and began to tell them what I was going through, they comforted me. They were there for me, they came and asked if there was something they could do and reminded me that they would be there for me.

Throughout the care of my daughter, I felt stigma, even from my doctors, that those of us living with HIV, are physically limited, that we are not going to live long, and that the meds that we are taking are going to take a toll on us. However, I am still standing and I am strong, thanks to all of the support.

– Punkin

Supporting Loved Ones with HIV

Emotional Health, Support, , ,

When I was young, I can remember my aunt going through a sickness none of us kids understood. No one told us not to do this or that concerning her, so we treated her with much love and care. We did not understand at that time that her health condition was, to others, something that sometimes breaks families apart and makes your friends treat you like a walking contagion. We did not treat my aunt that way and I would like to feel that I was allowed to form a better relationship with her through that time.

When speaking to my mother about this, she mentioned that it was very important for us, as a family, to be there for her. It was a big transition not just for her but for the entire family, and the way my aunt viewed life would change. We didn’t want her to feel like we had abandoned her or were walking on eggshells around her. So, instead of pushing her away with the stigma of what other people in the ’90’s thought about having HIV, we chose to draw her closer.

As a kid, that was my view of a person living with HIV, and how I, and my family, supported our loved one through that situation. We laughed with her more, made sure she rarely had to cry alone, and showed our love and support in more ways than one. I believe we celebrate her life every time we educate another through her story.

I feel that a person living with HIV only wants their family and friends to have the opportunity to understand their health condition and help them be strong along the way. No one wants to go through anything in life alone. No matter the diagnosis, your loved ones deserve to have someone to lean on.

So, in response to the question of how you can support someone that has just been told they have an HIV diagnosis, the first thing I would suggest you ask is, “Are you ok?” Not just physically, but ask about their mental health and take notice of their emotional state, as well. The second thing, depending on the nature of the relationship, would be to get the information/facts in order to support them properly. As a child, I didn’t know it, but my family took the time and educated themselves, making sure we were all safe. Just love them! I believe that’s a major aspect of understanding what’s going on with them. Make sure they know you’re there and they can come to you if need be.

To sum this up, I want to say, “BE PRESENT. EDUCATE YOURSELVES and SHOW LOVE! Your family/friends are still the same people. HIV DOES NOT DEFINE THEM.”

Guest Contributor – Love

Different Faces of a Caregiver

Advocacy, Support, Taking a Stand,

The definition, according to Merriam Webster, for a caregiver is, “a person who provides direct care (for children, elderly people, or the chronically ill).” Another dictionary defines it as, “a family member or paid helper who regularly looks after a child or a sick, elderly, or disabled person.” I define it as someone who shows love, compassion, and empathy for anyone who is in need and it is within their power to help.There are three different faces of caregiving that I can identify with and would like to describe briefly.

Caregiver Wife. As a wife, I promised to love and support my husband through the good and the bad. I promised to be there in sickness and in health. When I found out that I was HIV positive, (before my husband received his diagnosis) I was devastated. However, I had to tell myself I was still alive and it was not a death sentence. I was fortunate, yet unfortunate enough, to have had previous family members who had the AIDS diagnosis. Therefore, I was able to see the good and bad of the virus before it affected me personally. After we found out my husband’s diagnosis, I went into caregiver mode.

I honestly believe that I was more concerned about him being healthy than myself, mainly because he had to start medication a lot sooner than I had to. I made sure we began to eat better, we both stopped drinking and he stopped smoking. We did everything we were told and instructed to do by our doctor, in order to make sure we did not end up dying prematurely, like my family members. After sixteen years, I still make sure we take our meds at the same time in order to continue that bond of care because we are in both our marriage and this fight together.

Caregiver Mother. As a mother who is HIV positive, I make sure I am constantly talking to and engaging with my own children, as well as their friends who have grown up with them, whom I consider bonus children. I am always talking to them about safer sexual interactions. I explain to them the dangers out in the world that they cannot see with their eyes. And I share with them, as often as possible, about the cost that comes with making bad decisions, if they choose to be reckless. When my boys were minors, I had them tested for every STD and virus known, and I encourage them to continue to do the same now that they are adults.

Caregiver Friend. Having someone you can call a friend for years is a great thing. But having to share with that friend a secret that you are ashamed of is very scary. You are afraid of how they will react because sometimes you can count on them more than you can count on your own family members and you don’t want to ruin the friendship. It is heartbreaking when you learn that those friends, who you have known and loved for years, have been hiding that same shameful secret that you have been hiding for years. And, when you are confronted with that truth, you are then saddened because you think of how you could have helped each other deal with it together but instead, because of the shame, you suffered in silence.

As a caregiver friend, I decided to create an atmosphere of support for my friends who are positive (living with HIV), as well as for their spouses, because we have to keep the family unit strong. When I began to attend a support group for positive women, I felt the disconnect from my husband. I decided to talk to the other women about how they were coping at home with their husbands. I wanted to know what type of support their husbands were getting, if any, aside from what they were providing. I started to see that again, we had the same problem. I then decided to organize a support group that would support the unity and bond of couples. We began meeting once a month which changed to twice a month. Then, that changed to celebrating birthdays, wedding anniversaries, and vacationing together. The only thing that has kept the group from growing and flourishing is COVID-19. Needless to say, I am planning an event as soon as I can, one that would be safe for all in attendance.

Being a caregiver comes naturally for some, others have to go to school in order to learn how to become a caregiver, and then they are paid to do so. I prefer to be the first type of caregiver. I truly believe this gift was instilled in me as a child from my grandmother, my mother, and my aunts. I love to help others striving to be successful. I love to help others make a difference in their own lives for the better. I think I will continue to enjoy my three different faces and aspects of caregiving, and would not change it for the world. In the beginning, the diagnosis I received was devastating. After many years, I see it has been a blessing. I have been living a positive life since being “positive.”

– Nickie

 

Still Standing

Emotional Health, Inspiring Stories, Support, ,

Several years ago, I was at a point in my life where I was suicidal. A close friend of mine was telling me about a pastor, “This pastor is trustworthy and very supportive. You can go and talk to him about anything. He will give you the best advice and you don’t have to worry about anything.”

I was at my breaking point and I needed help. I don’t even remember calling the pastor. I just reached out. I just remember being in tears. I don’t know if I was drunk, I don’t know what was going on. I just knew I was thinking about suicide.

Wanting to trust someone and seeking help and guidance in a spiritual way, I went to see the pastor that my friend suggested. With the pastor, I shared everything from before my diagnosis of HIV, after my diagnosis, my good, my bad, my wrongdoing. I told this pastor everything. It was so comforting. The response that I received, the reassurance at that time, was so real and so loving. I just felt so comfortable that there was a home there for me and my children.

I trusted this person so much and this was my last resort for trust. I had been betrayed by family, friends, the streets, and by the school system. Sometimes, I feel like I even betrayed myself. I wanted to be accepted, to know that I’m not any different than anyone else. To not be put in a box or feel like I’m in a cage because of what I’m telling. All I was looking for was acceptance.

A few months later, after disclosing my HIV diagnosis to my pastor, we were at a church event, but there was also a group of people there that I didn’t know and didn’t trust.

During the sermon, the pastor began to speak about my health situation. At first, my name was not brought up, but my health situation was. My pastor didn’t refer to my correct diagnosis (HIV), but he referred to it as “sick.” That hurt me, knowing that it was me he was talking about.

As he continued with the sermon, he disclosed my name. I felt so stripped, bare naked with no cover, and everyone was waiting on my response. I couldn’t run anywhere. I was right there in the middle of everybody and they all knew who I was. I felt betrayed and couldn’t believe he just straight up did this to me after I had told him what happened to me, and to turn around and call me “sick” and expose my name was a straight betrayal.

I can’t really explain my feelings at that time; it felt like someone just pulled my heart out. It just had me feeling like the world was not real. Like God was not real. It made me feel like, “I turned to you and this is what you do to me.” At the time, I didn’t realize that men can use God as a cover-up to do their dirty work. I did not have any thoughts of suicide, but at that time, I felt like God did betray me like there is no God. I kept asking God, “How could you let someone do this to me after I let them know what’s going on?” I looked to this man of God, I came to him to get to God, but I know now that it was ungodly, it was not right.

Even though this happened to me, I think others need to disclose their status to their congregation because not everyone is educated about HIV. People will take stuff, will run with it, even if they have a mature mind. The church is like a hospital, people come in, they have different issues: depression, anxiety, cancer, life issues. The church is the mental hospital, the healing hospital, the counselor, the teacher. I feel like people should be able to walk into the church, feel relief in the church, but you can’t because every church is not the same. Every leader is not the same spiritual advisor.

I think pastors should put themselves in that person’s shoes and say, “What if this was me?” Look at it as if it was one of your loved ones – do not judge them. Let them know it’s okay. Always have open arms, listen, pay attention, be real. The worst thing you can do is betray them. When you betray them, you’re betraying God, because God put them there so you can reassure them. This is God’s way of using you to bring an individual to him. We need more people to be real.

Be careful who you trust. I’m still learning. But, also have faith and trust in God. I know now that you don’t have to turn to people to reassure yourself that God is real. Would you rather stand by God and be judged by the crowd or stand by the crowd and be judged by God? I say that because the crowd can leave your side at any time, but God will always be there.

– Unhurt

 

Ending HIV Stigma in the Church: A Well of Opportunity for Greater Understanding of HIV

Advocacy, Stigma, Support, Taking a Stand, ,

HIV has plagued our society for over three decades. Many who have contracted the virus have lost their lives and many others live their lives in the shadows of HIV. The fear of the unknown and lack of knowledge concerning the virus has caused a lack of acceptance and societal judgment. Unfortunately, many African American churches operate from the same mentality of societal judgment, even though Matthew 7:1-5 clearly tells us to not be judgmental of others because the same measure used to judge will be measured back to us. Judgment of other’s faults against our own can eliminate one’s ability to exercise empathy and compassion in any given situation.

The reason African American churches find it difficult to discuss HIV in the church is due to a level of fear and the absence of knowledge concerning the disease. This creates barriers for the African American church regarding HIV, and the disease becomes one of the taboo topics that are rarely, if ever, discussed in the church. However, if African American churches are to end the stigma of HIV, they must:

• Accept: Church leaders must accept the responsibility of setting the example, as Apostle Paul did in 1 Cor. 11:1. Leaders must be the example for their members to follow by receiving those with HIV into the church family without any reservations.

• Acknowledge: Church leaders must acknowledge that HIV is a valid disease that may plague some of their members and, through this acknowledgment, a well of opportunities for greater understanding of HIV can be established and instituted within the church. Then the hearts of the brethren can be refreshed (Philemon 1:7.)

• Instruct: Church leaders must teach their followers the truth regarding HIV, and dispel all notions of myths and stigmas that have plagued our society and the church for far too long. It is the truth that will bring light and liberty for all to freely love one another (John 8:32, Mark 12:31.)

When Clergymen and Clergywomen decide to place a high value on the importance of accepting, acknowledging and providing instruction concerning HIV and how it directly affects the church, that is when we will experience genuine transformation within the church.

Guest Contributor
Pastor Hope Drew, Ed.S, M.Th.
Rays of Hope Outreach Ministry, Inc.
Tampa, FL

An Unacceptable Stigma Based on FEAR!

Advocacy, Inspiring Stories, Stigma, Support, Taking a Stand, , , ,

 

People fear what they do not understand. When I first moved to Florida in the ’90s, the HIV stigma was still on the rise; it was heavy and strong. I started looking for a church that I could integrate myself into. I desperately wanted to still be included…to be loved.

When I first found out that I had HIV, the feeling that I would never be loved and accepted had me socially and emotionally paralyzed. Reading my Bible daily reminded me that I needed to surround myself with other believers. Joining a church was my utmost priority. I was happy when I finally found a church where I began to feel comfortable and accepted. But even though we were a church that was like a family, I was still afraid to disclose that I was living with HIV. I listened and watched people’s reactions to certain issues. Many of their responses were not positive. I would sit in my prayer closet and think to myself, “Aren’t we to love God and love people? One of the ten commandments literally states ‘Thou shall not judge!’” I felt so much sadness and anger that those who claim to love God could be so unaccepting to the broken! I thought, “How do some of these people think that they can judge and condemn others!” I poured myself out to God and asked for His peace that surpasses all understanding as I walked through these troubled waters.

After being in the church for about ten months, I got the courage to go to my pastor and ask to speak to him. We sat down and had the conversation I had been secretly dreading. During our discussion, I told my pastor that I was living with HIV. He was compassionate and caring. Although my pastor was not very knowledgeable about HIV/AIDS, he told me that he knew someone else who was living with HIV and connected us with each other.

After almost a year passed, I felt led to ask my pastor about starting a support group. I felt strongly that there were other people who were also having the same empty feeling that I felt with this diagnosis. A support system consisting of others who are facing the same feelings and day-to-day issues could build a greater understanding and draw us closer to God. This was strongly on my heart. The pastor agreed and within a week we had a meeting with the Director of the County Health Department. The director was very hesitant. He was afraid someone would shoot me or maybe even burn down our church! I was absolutely floored! I could not believe what I was hearing! Were people really that scared and cold-hearted to those struggling with this?

Hearing that lit a fire inside of me. I became adamant about creating my support group! I felt led by God in this, regardless of the dangerous repercussions that might come with it. After the group began, I realized I needed to change the name, however, because I could not reveal that it would be a support group for people living with HIV/AIDS. I hesitantly changed the name to something that sounded like an exercise class. I realized that not many people would show up for fear of the stigma surrounding HIV/AIDS. People were literally afraid for their lives! Yes, I said their lives – afraid of being beaten or even killed for having HIV/AIDS! This is what can happen due to a lack of education about this illness! People start to assume and we all know what happens when we assume without the facts. Sadly, I had to close the doors to the support group after just four months.

I am glad I disclosed to my pastor what I was going through back then. I was determined not to let the fear of others stop me from reaching out. I still wanted to support those battling this, and I was determined to educate as many as I could to stop the hate surrounding this stigma. I got involved in other projects surrounding HIV/AIDS and started receiving emotional support at that time. It empowered me to know that I was helping other women and teaching them to embrace and love themselves again. That whole experience made me really realize how badly the world needs to be educated on this illness, including the church. The Bible has many stories of Christ’s love. He never shied away from those with afflictions. He healed the leper, the woman with the issue of blood, and all those with mental, physical, and emotional afflictions. He embraced them in love. If we are to be following His example, we too need to embrace those in all walks of life in love, forgiveness, and mercy.

Believe me when I tell you that in 2021, the sigma is still alive. Our society still needs to learn the facts about HIV/AIDS. As advocates, we must continue to educate the churches. However, we first must continue educating ourselves as advocates on HIV/AIDS. We will always fear what we do not understand. I will leave you with these three final words. Educate! Love! and Empower!