Tag Archives: Support

Supporting Loved Ones with HIV

Emotional Health, Support, , ,

When I was young, I can remember my aunt going through a sickness none of us kids understood. No one told us not to do this or that concerning her, so we treated her with much love and care. We did not understand at that time that her health condition was, to others, something that sometimes breaks families apart and makes your friends treat you like a walking contagion. We did not treat my aunt that way and I would like to feel that I was allowed to form a better relationship with her through that time.

When speaking to my mother about this, she mentioned that it was very important for us, as a family, to be there for her. It was a big transition not just for her but for the entire family, and the way my aunt viewed life would change. We didn’t want her to feel like we had abandoned her or were walking on eggshells around her. So, instead of pushing her away with the stigma of what other people in the ’90’s thought about having HIV, we chose to draw her closer.

As a kid, that was my view of a person living with HIV, and how I, and my family, supported our loved one through that situation. We laughed with her more, made sure she rarely had to cry alone, and showed our love and support in more ways than one. I believe we celebrate her life every time we educate another through her story.

I feel that a person living with HIV only wants their family and friends to have the opportunity to understand their health condition and help them be strong along the way. No one wants to go through anything in life alone. No matter the diagnosis, your loved ones deserve to have someone to lean on.

So, in response to the question of how you can support someone that has just been told they have an HIV diagnosis, the first thing I would suggest you ask is, “Are you ok?” Not just physically, but ask about their mental health and take notice of their emotional state, as well. The second thing, depending on the nature of the relationship, would be to get the information/facts in order to support them properly. As a child, I didn’t know it, but my family took the time and educated themselves, making sure we were all safe. Just love them! I believe that’s a major aspect of understanding what’s going on with them. Make sure they know you’re there and they can come to you if need be.

To sum this up, I want to say, “BE PRESENT. EDUCATE YOURSELVES and SHOW LOVE! Your family/friends are still the same people. HIV DOES NOT DEFINE THEM.”

Guest Contributor – Love

We Need Each Other

Advocacy, Inspiring Stories, Support, , , , , ,

In many of our churches, we sing a popular song entitled, “I Need You to Survive,” by Hezekiah Walker. The lyrics of the song convey a powerful message, “I need you; you need me. We’re all a part of God’s body.” It goes on to say, “You are important to me, I need you to survive.” When I hear the church singing this song, I often wonder if we realize what we are singing, because when it comes to the HIV/AIDS community many of its members feel as though the church does not have a need for them. In fact, the church has made them feel excluded. They feel like the church will survive just fine without them.

HIV/AIDS is running rampant in every community in the United States and around the world. Even though there is no cure as of yet, people living with HIV/AIDS are still able to enjoy a long, healthy life if the right treatment, love, and support are in place – the kind of love and support many of them never receive.

I also find it interesting that the church places a lot of emphasis on loving thy neighbor, yet there are so many people in the HIV/AIDS community who feel they have never received the precious love of a neighbor and especially from the church. In fact, women living with HIV/AIDS tell me it is the people in the church who have hurt them the most, from members in the pews to preachers in the pulpit.

As a pastor, I have always viewed the church as a trusted source in the community for both social support and where healthy coping strategies are developed; a place of refuge, the one place where those who are living with HIV/AIDS should be empowered and supported. But the truth is, in many churches, HIV/AIDS stigma, discrimination, and mistrust are thriving. The church, the very place that should be a safe haven, has become the source of hurt, rejection, and pain for people living with HIV/AIDS.

I must be honest and say, I am not sure whether the hurt, rejection, and pain are due to a lack of knowledge, plain arrogance, or a lack of compassion. Whatever the reason, as a church we must first and foremost, understand that, for a lot of people living or suffering from HIV/AIDS is through no fault of their own. If you stop and think about it, we all suffer from some type of malady, hurt or challenge because the world can be an unfair, unjust place. Secondly, we are to be the hands and feet of Jesus in our communities, meeting the spiritual, social, and economic needs of all people, and not just those we feel comfortable with. And thirdly, the church has a responsibility to serve and support our sisters and brothers living with HIV/AIDS through education and awareness in order to prevent this disease from ravaging our communities and to reduce the stigma and discrimination displayed towards people affected by, and living with, HIV/AIDS.

As a church, it is certainly not our place to judge. We have the opportunity to take care of some people who are hurting and need us, and we need them to survive as part of the body of believers in Christ Jesus. We need to build each other up and recognize that we need each other to be whole.

Guest Contributor
The Rev. Mary L. Mitchell,
Senior Pastor
Bartley Temple United Methodist Church

Moving Ahead

Advocacy, Awareness Days, HIV Testing, Inspiring Stories, Knowledge Buster, , ,

Today is National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day, and as a community, I think it is very important that we understand the reason why we have to fight so hard to end the epidemic again HIV/AIDS.

As people of color, we are already fighting against the injustice of racial barriers, which increases the stigma of those living with HIV.

We wanted to share this straight-to-the-point blog by Venita Ray, a woman who has touched many lives. Click the image below to visit her blog. We hope that you will find the strength to speak out and advocate for yourself, your sisterhood and your community.  We want you to know that you are not alone and if you feel that you are in need of support, we are here for you. You can reach us at letstalk@rwhp.org.

Journaling: It Will Change Your Life

Action Tips, Emotional Health, Inspiring Stories, Support, Uncategorized

I have been journaling everyday for the last 2 years. It has been one of the freeing experiences in my life because it actually allows me to slow down to think about what is truly happening around me, as well as what my part is in it.

Here are 6 ways that journaling will change your life.

  1. How do you feel? Journaling can help you get what you truly feel inside out of the way. This helps when we are caught in the “retrace of life”, when we tend to disregard our feelings and keep ourselves busy and jaded.
  2. Point of view: Journaling can give us a better understanding of our own point of view, as well as, what others think of our situation. It’s taught me that it’s not about what others think, when we journal, it is about OUR point of view.
  3. A life worth living: I like to think that of journaling as “my life’s story.” That alone makes it Fun, Enjoyable, and Inspiring to write a little about myself and what’s going on with me, everyday of my life. After journaling continuously for sometime and looking back on the things that I have written, I realize that life is much more interesting and deeper than I thought. It’s a Great way to discover that my life is truly worth living.
  4. Hi, my name is…: Do you know yourself without thinking too hard about it? Chances are you are only who you think you are. This was true for me before I started writing for myself everyday. I thought I knew what I liked or disliked, who I was, where I was going in life and memories of where I have been. In reality, these aspects of myself were only what I thought I should be, not actually who I was. Journaling helped me to uncover my dreams, goals, and boundaries.
  5. A cooler person: The idea of being able to write for your life and passing it along to someone else, such as, children, grandchildren, or friends, without being ashamed. This allows others to feel more connected to you, and lets them learn that you are only human, that you live life, and that you have feelings too.
  6. Build your serenity: Getting back to number 1, when you start to write about your feelings and how situations in your life changes your feelings, you can gain the ability to start to process those feelings, rather than leaving them bottled up inside, put them on paper so you can get them out of your heart and mind. This is so you can process and try to understand them more, which will bring you to a serene existence and helps you to notice your feelings like anger, jealousy, resentment, even joy and happiness. This is what helps me feel better.

You can write about anything, the sky is the limit. It’s a good way to cope and help yourself.

 Have you tried journaling? For more ideas  check out the newest Let’s Talk About It  magazine, Put Yourself First   http://rwhp.org/letstalk.html